S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale

Not quite a full decade after Richard Kelly introduced us to the ill-fated Donnie Darko, his family, his girlfriend, "Gretchen," and philosopher Roberta Sparrow, we are taken on another journey, this time following young Samantha Darko, ten years old when her brother was killed by a falling airplane engine, now 17 and traveling from Virginia to California in search of a better life.

While Daveigh Chase reprised her role as Samantha, Richard Kelly disavowed any involvement with the sequel. This was not encouraging. But it was a Donnie Darko Tale, as the cover clearly states, and therefore, as a card carrying Donnie Darko nerd, I had to watch, no matter how painful.

As is the case with most ill-conceived sequels, S. Darko rehashed much of what we loved about the original and made several obscure references to it as well. After blowing out the water pump in the car they are driving, Samantha and friend Cory (played by Briana Evigan) find themselves at Frank's Echo Service in Conejo Springs, Arizona. Work that one out on your own. The rest of the story is too bizarre to effectively convey without a scene by scene breakdown.

Basically, I think it was not a bad movie but I'm really not sure because I was far too distracted by the too much-ity of it all. In the original, there was a moment, when Donnie first meets Frank, when he touches the glass of the bathroom mirror and it ripples. That ripple effect was littered throughout S. Darko nearly every five minutes, and not just in mirrors and glass...thin air rippled (and rippled and rippled until I feared the onset of motion sickness) when it was touched as well. Scenes ran at double time more often than could fairly be called necessary. And there was a great deal of psychedelic lights and colors. There was a terribly upsetting moment where it seemed as though the writers had forgotten which movie they were sequeling and drifted into Invasion of the Body Snatchers, as Jackson Rathbone's face contorts and morphs into something less human and more alien.

As for rehashing the original, there was an ultra-creepy youth pastor slash cult leader, a fire burning hotter than any normal house fire should, a man in a biomechanical bunny mask. There was an "I would give anything to bring her back" sacrifice. And, 2000 miles from the setting of the original story, there was the grandson of Roberta Sparrow.

It is the opinion of this writer and viewer that, had it not been so overtly gimmicky, it might have rivaled the original in story quality. Not surpassed it by any means, but could have stood proudly on a shelf beside it's predecessor without rubbing its toe sheepishly in the dirt like a disdained younger sibling. As it stands, however, I can only think of two words to accurately describe what I saw: Grossly overdone. But. Twenty-four hours later, after having some time to think about it (and I did think about it) I say, if you are a fan of Donnie Darko, rent S. Darko.

However, if you are a fan of Donnie Darko, watch this film without expectations (or as I did, expecting it to be a total disaster). Ignore the spiraling neon lights, ignore the double exposed flickering images of what may or may not be a ghost Sam (Samara? If Daveigh Chase isn't thoroughly screwed up by now, she's one tough cookie). Ignore the gimmicks and pay attention to the story. And watch it again. Because having endured it once, I can tell you with absolute certainty, that once was not enough...another part of it that was just like the original.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

A week late, as usual, here I am with my thoughts on the latest in the Harry Potter film franchise. A little conflicted here, to tell the truth. It was a great movie, good effects, overall a good time. But there was a lot of important scenes left out of this one. If you've read the books, you'll be able to keep up with me. If not, the first paragraph is probably all of this blog you are going to understand.

Dumbledore only showed Harry two memories. There were a dozen in the book. Now, I was one saying if they include all of the memories the movie is going to be very slow but they needed to include a few of the others. The ring, for example. There was a ring and they kept focusing on it but never explained what it was or why it was important.

They touched on the horcruxes but never elaborated on the seven people Voldemort killed to create them. Lily and James we've known all along but I think knowing the other five (well, four of them anyway) is kind of important to the story.

The first three books followed the books very closely and they were amazing. The Goblet of Fire took some detours but didn't leave out anything important. The Order of the Phoenix actually added some information that wasn't clearly outlined in the book. But The Half-Blood Prince...it stuck to the story, as far as getting from point A to point Z and all of the vowels were present but there were a few consonants missing here and there. Important ones like R, S, T, L, and N.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

The first in a potential string of "spin-off prequels" (X-Men Origins: Magneto slated for release in 2011), X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a little more Psycho 4 and a little less Temple of Doom. That is to say, it was far more informative than action-packed. There were definitely some great action sequences, unfortunately, most of them were in the short version of the televised trailer.

Please, don't misunderstand me. It was a great ride and packed tons of people into an nearly-dead cinema in my sleepy little hamlet (I haven't seen that many people in, or around, that building in, literally, years. I think the last time I stood in line for a ticket at that theater was for The Guardian.). If you are a fan of the X-Men, or even a fan of comic book movies or Hugh Jackman, I recommend seeing it. However, if you are just going for big action sequences, big FX, I honestly recommend waiting for the DVD release. Save your ticket money for something like Terminator Salvation (however, given the choice between the two, I'd still pick Wolverine, even with Christian Bale in Terminator).

New server...hosting company...issues

While this blog has only been used for reviews in the past, I hope some of you have been keeping up with it. The hosting service we were using got bought out or merged with or something another company and all of the sites they were hosting have been (or are being moved) to a new server.

This means nothing to my readers other than it's going to be a few more days while I figure out how the new company works (I hope) until I can get the new issue up and running. Ultimately it really shouldn't affect you kind folks too much.

As for the book...yikes! I'll be honest. I got a new position through my freelance writing gig and that has taken up quite a bit of time that I had hoped to be devoting to the anthology. But that's all wrapped up here for a few weeks so hopefully I can get the book ironed out and ready to print before Mid-May.

Keep checking back here or on the site for more updates.

Watchmen

Three hours and still no theatrical trailer for Harry Potter later...I return from my journey through an alternate history with Zack Snyder.

There were a couple of incredibly distracting aspects to this film. First of all, did you know that Billy Crudup is the "Priceless" guy from the MasterCard commercials? I cannot picture him when I hear that voice in those commercials so every time Dr. Manhattan spoke, because there was Billy Crudup without Billy Crudup's face, I tried to imagine him saying "priceless," and still couldn't do it.

Second, was Richard Nixon's (Robert Wisden) fake nose. It was so visibly formed out of costumer's putty that every time he came on screen a little voice in my head would scream, "It's not even a real nose! It's polystyrene!" Inappropriately placed Monty Python references are rarely helpful, especially when I'm the only one who can hear them.

Beyond the workings of my own slightly short-circuited mind, I enjoyed the show. It may have been subject matter, it may have been lack of action but I did not hold this one up to the same standard as Snyder's 300, but still enjoyable.

I was warned before going that it was violent and bloody and it was, indeed, violent and bloody. There were some instances when the violence did not seem to be such that would cause the amount of blood spill; that is to say there were a few scenes that seemed to be only for the sake of using up a surplus of Karo syrup, but, again, did not detract from the overall enjoyment of the film.

The premise of the film is fairly simple, given that it is set in the mid-1980's. Stop the Soviets from starting a Nuclear war while the government pretends you don't exist and while someone is picking off your ranks one by one. There is a standard and almost expected twist of comic book treachery in the end and in between is a story about superheroes who try to live normal lives but get dragged kicking and screaming (for about three seconds until they remember how much fun it was to be a superhero) back into the gig.

If you enjoyed 300 and enjoy comic book/superhero films and have the endurance to sit through 3 hours (including trailers), have fun. It's pretty much worth the price of admission. I'm not sure it would be as effective on a home television set.

Twilight

So, here's what happened... I saw Twilight opening weekend. And I didn't write anything about it here because when I first saw it, I couldn't say anything more than "okay." Do you know how hard it is to write a review about something about which you are completely indifferent?

The thing is...That movie is like some kind of slow-acting narcotic. Leaving the theater and for the rest of the day, into the next, indifference was all I could muster. But as I grew closer to the next weekend, I started considering paying the seven dollars and fifty cents to see it again. As I grew closer to the next weekend I began to be sucked into the whole Twilight insanity. And somewhere in all of that I had forgotten that my initial indifference had kept me from reviewing.

I am poor so I have not returned to the cinema to re-experience the Twilight excitement but I assure you, I will be renting, if not buying, it when it is available on DVD.

That out of the way, as if you couldn't tell that I think you should see it if you haven't already, let's talk a little about the film. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) moves from Arizona to Washington to live with her father while her mother is touring the country with her shiny new, semi-pro baseball player husband. The Cullen family is the somewhat eccentric town royalty, headed by Dr. Carlisle Cullen (Peter Facinelli) and surrounded by rumor.

Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) is the only of the Cullen's "foster" children who is not romantically involved and because of (or possibly in spite of) that, he is the most sought after and most untouchable "boy" in school, until Bella comes to town.

Classic plot for a teen romance, right? Except that Edward (and his "parents" and brothers and sisters) is a vampire. But you knew that. He is a vegetarian vampire... Okay, now things are getting a little odd. To the Cullens, being a "vegetarian" really means only feeding on animals, not humans

Basically, if you were ever a fan of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and the Buffy-Angel romance, you will enjoy Twilight. If you enjoyed Robert Pattinson's *ahem* performance in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, you will enjoy Twilight. If you first found vampires with George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino in Mexico...you may have issues with the fuzzy cuddly Cullens. But wait until it is released on DVD and see it anyway. I don't want you getting all pissy with me for sending you to the theater if you find it's not your thing.

Rental Recommendation - Pathology

Pathology, starring Milo Ventimiglia (Heroes), Michael Weston (Cherry Falls), and Johnny Whitworth (Empire Records), was repeatedly pushed from theatrical release over the course of two years, for reasons unclear to this writer. It was finally released to DVD in September of 2008, which is why this is a rental recommendation rather than a standard review.

The premise: A group of forensic pathology residents devise a game to see who can commit the perfect murder. Enter golden boy prodigy, home from Doctors Without Borders-style jaunt to Africa, Ted Grey (Ventimiglia). In the beginning he seems to be wholesome and straight-laced, engaged to marry the aspiring lawyer daughter of a giant in the medical field (Alyssa Milano). But we soon find out there is a dark side to Dr. Grey and he is recruited to join the game.

What is spooky here is that I, as a budding horror writer in my own right, came up with this idea all on my own, probably around the same time casting was being done for this film. But that's beside the point. The point is that, while that and my adoration for the work of Mr. Ventimiglia (not to mention his brooding hazel eyes and washboard stomach *ahem* Hey, I'm not being paid to write this, I can say whatever I want)...

While my strange connection to the storyline and adoration for Mr. Ventimiglia's work may have created a bias, I definitely recommend this film. It is admittedly clear about halfway into the story which player of the game is going to be its undoing however that doesn't take away from the fun of a good old fashioned horror thriller. No shoddy computer animation or 8mm camera work in this one, nosiree. Just good clean fun.

I don't know what kept this out of the theaters for two years, but let's prove the production studio wrong and rent or buy every copy we can find, whaddyasay?